An idiot went to a concert, fell down some stairs, fractured his ankle, and now hangs out in hospital...
THIS... is that idiot's story. Because social media can go to hell, and texting is annoying.
Last update: 6/2/2026 19:07 NZDT
Greig fell down stairs, fractured his ankle, and is currently awaiting surgery.
Phil and I were going to see SUMAC at Whammy Bar in Auckland on Friday Jan 30. Alex and I had headed up early, had a few beers at some of our favourite places, and met up with Phil at Saint Leonards Brewing and from there, we wandered in to town. Well, kinda. It was further than Alex felt like walking, so we ubered the last couple of kms. Cheating aside, we had a last pint at Northern Line and then decided to part ways, with Alex looking forward to a nice night on the town without this ol' ball and chain, and Phil and I making our way to the gig, just over the road. And down some stairs...
Those of you familliar with Whammy Bar might have already spotted the problem.
You see, Whammy Bar is the UPSTAIRS smaller venue. Double Whammy is the DOWNSTAIRS, larger venue. Sortof. Because after you go downstairs, to Double Whammy, you then have to walk upstairs, up a steep flight of stairs to the venue proper. And, not that it matters, but it's funny, after you've walked in upstairs, to Whammy, you then go DOWNSTAIRS, down a steep flight.
So yeah, we went downstairs, then upstairs, then realised we had been talking so much bollocks that we'd been on autopilot to the wrong venue. No worries. Back down the stairs we go and... slip, crash, thump, CRACK, ... shit. Luckily that last one wasn't literal.
Enter the hero of the evening - the doorman! This absolute legend clearly had paramedic training. He performed a quick concussion test on me, as I'd whacked my head quite hard on the way down. Luckily, it was MY head, so no danger of any damage there. Next, we moved to the ankle. I was frightened to look, after that CRACK. Nobody else had heard it though. So, full mobility. Good sign. Toes wiggling, good sign. Let's put some weight on it. Oh HELL no. We managed, with much help from Phil and said hero doorman (remind me to buy that man a bottle of scotch), as well as another security lad from across the way (look, I'm not tiny, OK?) we managed to get me up to the first landing on the flight of stairs in St. Kevin's Arcade. There I sat, ice (again, provided by hero doorman) on the ankle, hoping that I'd be able to join Phil at the gig. No, Phil wasn't an asshole, I absolutely insisted he carry on and ensure that only one of us wasted our ticket.
I Finally admitted defeat after about 15 minutes, and called Alex to come get me. Poor Alex hadn't even started her awesome night without the annoying husband yet, but dilligently grabbed an Uber, and came to get me. Another Uber was called, and my pain-riddled pathetic ass was dragged to the top of the stairs and manhandled into the Uber. Back to the hotel we went. P.S. If you're staying at the Copthorne on Anzac Ave, don't expect any basic help from the front desk. Not even the use of a wheeled luggage trolley. Just a glare as you hop through a crowded reception leaning on your long-suffering wife!
So... not wanting to deal with Auckland EDs, or getting stuck in Auckland for days/weeks/whatever, we spent a painful night in our hotel room, then headed back to Hamilton, straight to Tui Medical ED - not passing Go, not collecting breakfast. We were then sent to the OTHER Tui branch in Rototuna, as they had X-Ray services. Around 4ish hours later, I'd had x-rays, a bad fracture was declared, and I was in a cast and on my way to Waikato Hospital.
All prepped, so straight in, right? Nope. Another five hours passed, some "interesting" company was kept, and finally, after a brief (two hour) return to ED reception in a wheelchair to be parked due to lack of waiting space, a bed was found!
Setting expectations is important! For example, the lovely and helpful staff at Tui Medical had said "Oh, you'll need urgent surgery, this referral will get you straight in". In actuality, it just sped up the ED entry paperwork a tad at Waikato Hospital. The registrar who admitted me said "yep, you'll need urgent surgery. There's a bit of a wait on the CT scan we'll need to do first, but you'll go to surgery straight after that" and put me on nil by mouth. In actuality, not so much - CT wasn't until this morning (Monday, Feb 2), and after that the doctor came around to say that "as in almost all such cases", they'd need to wait 4-5 days minimum for the swelling to go down.
So... here I lie. Four nights of enforced relaxation ahead of me! Hence, I thought I'd waste some time creating this little page.
How's the food?
Freakin' stellar! I've not been in hospital for a while, but wow, how things have changed. We get a freakin' menu! Last night was braised sausages in some of the best gravy I've tasted!
What about the room?
ALMOST perfect. Three of us in here, me and two lovely old blokes - Ian and Alex - full of great stories and cheer, despite both facing some pretty radical heart surgery soon. Poor Ian has been in here since Jan 1! The view is great, with a sweeping view over all of Hamilton (I can imagine an old, now passed on friend saying "sounds awful" - still love you Neil (RIP)). And, our own shared ensuite! So why almost? Well, it's the oldest part of the hospital, and air conditioning is a new fangled concept. It's been hot. And Humid. Gross. Alex bought me a nice grunty little fan though, so things are good. Mostly.
Do you need anything?
No, thanks lovely people. Between Alex looking after me, and her and Luddy picking up the urgent tasks at the brewery (save the beer!), I'm quite comfortable and have everything I need. So far, the days are flying by.
Do you want visitors?
If you'd like to come say hi, you're most welcome, but with these two old buggers, and a bunch of things to catch up on and administer, the time is flying and I'm not lonely! If you do come, please don't bring anything. Even beer, I think I'm gonna go dry for a little while. We'll see how long...
When do you get out?
When I know, I'll let you all know here.
Isn't this whole thing a bit egotistical or self-indulgent?
Maybe. I don't intend it to be. I am just one of those people that hates telling the same story multiple times, and wanted a "single source of truth" for all who ask without needing to remember who I have updated with what. I'm being productively lazy so I can focus on healing and helping Alex and Luddy manage the brewery without getting sidetracked by text messages updating people. I could use social media, but this is for people I like. 🤣
I had a rough night's sleep, with the badly throbbing ankle and the crushing Hamilton humidity combining to make slumber a laughable goal. I passed much of the night rewatching Murderbot though - it really is so much better after reading the books!
This morning brought mixed news though. As I had suspected by the throbbing, the swelling in my ankle had gotten worse overnight, and I was now told that it would likely push surgery until the end of the week. The good news though is that apparently, I'll be out the day after surgery! So that's actually lifted my spirits a bit.
In brewery news, Alex and Luddy managed a successful yeast dump this morning, so are on track for brewing careers... poor things! Andrew King also popped in to fix up a flaw in my documentation for Alex and Luddy - so thanks Andrew! The spicebeer shall flow!
This just in...
Thanks to Tracey, I just got my CT scan report... jargon city, but long story short, I have done a really good job of messing up my ankle!
Just been moved a couple doors down to a two bed room. Goodbye room 7, hello room 9. Upgrades include a great view, now closer, a comfy chair for visitors, and just one roommate. Downgrades include loss of my awesome old roommates, Ian and Alex.
BREAKING NEWS As I was updating this, the doctor came around and... Surgery today!! Now this does assume all the other scheduled surgery goes to plan, but at least I am on track. No more hurry-up-and-wait. Alex is over the moon.
Just a short one as I'm in a lot of pain (normal) and so they keep knocking me out with Oxycodone, but the short version is: Surgery complete, very successfull, though difficult due to nature of breaks. Remaining in one more night for observation and pain management. No visitors please as I'm just too knackered! Will update properly when home.
OK, probably the last update so long as nothing terrible happens, but I am, at last, home. One week to a few hours after I fell down the bloody stairs. The last 48 hours have been very painful, and I am once again thankful to the incredible nursing staff at the Hospital. A note for the doctors though: talk to the nurses! They get very frustrated not being able to tell us patients what is going on. I have spent all day today waiting for a doctor to discharge me, and none were even able to provide an ETA to the nurses.
That said, the surgeon and anesthetic team who did my surgery were amazing. Due to my asthma, reflux, and damage from pneumonia, they recommended spinal anaesthetic. I don't usually consider myself a wuss, but this gave me pause. After a discussion around the pros and cons, I went with their advice. It is quite trippy being awake for that sort of surgery, but the team were so good (and the sedative so enjoyable) that the procedure flew past. The worst part was the nasal oxygen running out of water mix and leaving me feeling like I was breathing desert air. Of course, being awake I was able to tell them this and they fixed it immediately.
That evening wasn't as great, and I think that was the worst pain I have ever felt. Still, home and under control now, and just another six more weeks of not being able to put any pressure on my left foot! Yep, I'm going nowhere, friends!
Thanks to everyone who has sent well wishes and offered to help. All is under control (for small values of "all" and "under control") and I look forward to six weeks passing swiftly and rising to drink beer with you all again! Special thanks, of course, to Alex for all she has done so far and will continue to do. There's not enough gin in the world... 🤣